Dad's Eye View

Karen signed Courtney up for swim class and then promptly left town for the first one, leaving me in charge. I was a little apprehensive because I haven’t spent a whole lot of solo time in public. I’m not exactly the best judge of social protocol by myself, let alone with a child. So far my new experiences with Courtney have been as a family unit – Mom always around to reassure and stuff. I’m not sure I’m well equipped to deal with a total kid freak out on my own.

My biggest concern was being responsible for some traumatic water experience that would have her hate the water for life. I want her to love the water so much and don’t want to do anything that would prevent it. I mean, how else is she going to be a future surfing champion if she doesn’t like the water! heh.

When I arrived at the Y, I was relieved that they had a men’s family locker room. At least I wouldn’t have to figure all of the logistics out with tons of people milling all around. Changing Courtney into her swimsuit and stuff was actually a lot easier than I anticipated. She was a real champ about the whole thing, even sitting on the bench patiently while I changed into my suit.

When we walked into the pool area I was relieved that it was warm. In fact, I was concerned that it was too warm! It was like Summer in the tropics. I was a little lost upon entering the area. There were lots and lots of kids of various ages all over the place. I finally found my little corner and we settled down to wait the five minutes until our class. Courtney sat on my lap very quietly and took it all in.

The instructor lady finally told us it was time and to get into the pool. This is where things started to go south. As soon as we started to climb in the tears began to flow. There were about 8 kids and their parents and Courtney was the only one who didn’t want to be there. All of the other kids were having a blast.

She continued to cry for at least 15 minutes. At one point I asked the instructor what I should do and she said “if it were me I’d keep her in so she gets used to the water,” so I did. She finally quit crying, but she certainly wasn’t enjoying it. She was still digging her nails into my back as she clung for dear life.

The instructor was singing all kinds of kids songs, expecting us all to sing along and participate. I knew I was lacking in the childhood  song area, but had no idea just how bad until this class. It’s a good thing I mumble naturally, because I didn’t know any of the words.

As the class was winding down Courtney finally let go of her death grip and let me float her around a bit. Just a bit! If I let her get too far away the tears would return. Needless to say, she was quite happy to get out.

Walking out of the tropics and back into the reality of the Winter locker room didn’t do much to help Courtney’s mood. But we got sort of rinsed off, changed and on our way home. Logistically all that changing stuff is a bit challenging.

Except for the whole part about Courtney not liking the water, I say things went swimmingly well (sorry, couldn’t resist). At least, from a solo trip in public perspective.

Reassuring Mom will be in attendance for this week’s swim class. I’m hoping things go a bit better. Perhaps we’ll even see a smile.

I’ve long had a view that there should be no tax deductions for children. I know that’s not a popular stance, but I’ve spent the bulk of my adult life single. It used to irritate me that I was shouldering more of the tax burden as a single male (and health insurance costs, too!). The thought of a family with three children paying much less tax and consuming far greater resources would just burn me up.

Now that I have a child and get to pay less tax it still burns me up. It just doesn’t make any sense. If anything, people who choose to have children should bear a greater responsibility of doing so. We shouldn’t financially incentivise people to have children.

It’s not like we need to grow armies of people so we can overtake nations. We don’t need a bunch of kids to offset the odds of mortality as large farming families used to do. Technology has changed things a lot. Population growth is not something that should be encouraged at all really. The Earth is barely making it as is. Nobody needs 10 kids. And they certainly shouldn’t get 10 deductions for being so silly.

Having children is not something to be taking lightly. Nobody should enter into such and endeavor if they don’t have the means to support it – work hard to get to a place where you can provide for a family first. You don’t have to be rich, but if you can’t afford to take care of yourself then you shouldn’t be having children.

Yes, I know it’s not that easy and that there are some social problems with it all. But if you really look at it objectively it’s hard to argue the logic.

Let the flaming commence!

Today is a sad day. It’s the first day I had to don my jacket . Yep, the pool is officially closed. The end of Summer was cooler than normal and brought lots and lots of rain. So the pool hasn’t exactly been inviting for more than a month, but as long as it’s not jacket weather I’m always optimistic that the solar heater could keep up during a warm spell for one last weekend of swimming bliss.

The leaves have already started to dominate the pool. I had planned on getting a cover for it this year. I was sure I didn’t want to endure another Fall with the pool uncovered. But alas, procrastination won once more. It won’t be long now before I’m fishing pounds and pounds of leaves out of the pool every day.

But the worst part is that I really really want Courtney to love the water. And she’s getting to an age where she could start to have a lot more fun in it. So now we’re looking at maybe late May if we’re lucky for the next stretch of pool time. I hope to spend lots of time with her swimming, surfing, sailing, etc., etc. over many years to come.

So while Karen loves Fall, it sort of saddens me because it’s so long until it warms up again. I guess it’s the Florida in me.

Swimming in Lake Winnipesaukee, NH in August.

We've still got a ways to go before she's on her own, but I'm hoping to get her lots of practice.

She definitely doesn't hate the idea.

Karen left for a girls weekend in Vegas on Friday, which left me flying solo for the first time with the baby. Okay, first extended time as a solo parent. I’ve spent quite a few nights with girl on my own while Karen is out at “book club” or girls night or hairdo night, etc.

Since I’m pretty involved in things when I’m at home I wasn’t really that concerned about my ability to care for her. But I was concerned that she would “sense” that her mommy was not around. There have been several nights when Karen it out doing things that she seems to know that Karen isn’t in the house. Extra cranky, won’t sleep, etc. Fortunately, she didn’t exhibit any of those traits for the most part. There were a few awkward moments like walking into the bedroom and she’d twist all around trying to get a look at Mommy. In general though, there didn’t seem to be a lot of drama regarding the absence.

I made a bit of a mistake by having friends over on Friday night. They came over since I was stuck at home with the baby. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed the company, but I’ve been under the weather for about a week and was pretty wiped out physically. I could have done with a 9:00 bed time, but my head didn’t hit the pillow until about 12:30 instead. And if all goes well girl wakes up between 7 and 7:30. At least she was generous and made it to the 7:30 mark.

My sister had to go to the mall and she asked if I wanted to tag along. It coincided with my 3-hour window between morning and afternoon naps, so she stopped by and we headed out. I had forgotten about the carousel at the mall (not a mall I go to frequently). After my purchased a new washing machine from Sears, we headed over to have a look at the carousel. She seemed pretty entertained by it as it spun around and around, so I bought a ticket and we hopped in line for the next ride.

I think she liked it better from the outside looking in. It’s a good thing we were the first ones on and had to wait for everybody to get situated. It gave her some time to settle in a bit and get used to the idea. And watching all the kids climbing up on the horses was a good distraction. Once we started moving she had that uncertain look. She seemed a bit overwhelmed by it, but started to enjoy it more toward the end. The bottom lip didn’t present itself, so she didn’t not like it.

Mall entertainment

She was a good eater for me all weekend. But then again, I think she’d be a good eater for anybody. She’s pretty much a little piggy most of the time. She seemed to like the pasta more than most of the stuff I put in front of her. I was quite happy she didn’t run her hands through her hair!

Nothing like red sauce and baby.

All and all I would classify the weekend as fairly successful. Extra thanks to my sister for helping out . That’s not to say that I would enjoy it on a regular basis though. Being a single parent is not something that seems all that appealing. It was nice knowing that Karen was coming back in just a couple of days. It’d be hard to know that there is only “on” time with very little reprieve from the constant care necessary. I’d like to believe that even my little contribution of daily (M-F) “bath, books and bed” is a welcome reprieve for Karen.

Karen was missed and we’re both very happy she has returned to make our lives more fulfilled.

One of the ladies from Karen’s moms group has twin boys who turned 1 this past week. Karen dragged me to the party because that’s what we do now I guess. Anybody who knows me is well aware that I don’t do well around big groups of people I don’t know. Frankly, it stresses me out. I don’t remember faces or names or even whether or not I’ve met somebody before. I’m generally pretty poor at all things social. It takes me a few times before I start to recognize people and then a few more times to get their names. Longer if there’s weeks or months in-between.

When we arrived, I was pretty jazzed that they had a keg for the adults. It’s sort of a crutch for me in these social situations. While I’m holding a drink, I’m “doing” something and therefore don’t feel so exposed as the weird guy in the corner freaking out by himself. Though, I did discover that holding a baby makes things much easier. It makes for much easier conversation because we all know it’s all about the baby. People actually approach you to comment on how, obviously, adorable your baby is. But alas, you can only hold a 17ish pound baby for so long.

Of course, the first thing that came to mind when I found out about the keg was that I just HAD to get a picture of Courtney doing a keg stand. I mean, how many opportunities am I going to have to see that. Wait. Don’t answer that. I’ll continue to live in my blissful ignorance for at least a few more years. Anyway, so there were are having our first white trash moment of the day. At least it was in the other room away from the bulk of the people so we only made a lasting impression on a few folks.

I was also quite happy to see they had a whole room sectioned off for the babies to play. So I made my way over there with the baby to have something to “do” so I’m not that guy still. The play area has a large throw carpet, much like the one at the daycare we toured way back in the day when we still contemplated such a thing. The rule at the daycare is no shoes on the carpet, so I figured there was something similar to that here, but nobody else seemed to be adhering to it so maybe not. At any rate, I was wearing flip-flops, so I quickly arrived at the problem of trying to decide if wearing my nasty flip-flops was better than my bare (rather clean IMHO) feet. Which is more socially acceptable? I dunno. I went with bare and put my flip-flops in the corner.

Courtney getting ready to rough up another one.

First keg stand. It's all cute now, but at some point it's going to come back to haunt me.

At some point we moved back into the food room where the keg was. I presume it started with a refill and it quickly turning into food stuffing. One of the cool couples I met was in there eating and I was enjoying our conversation. They have a 7-month-old girl who was getting tired. The dad was trying to keep her entertained by swinging her back and forth. She clearly loved it and we chatted about how Courtney loves that, too. Us dads were pretty proud of our little “adrenaline junkies.”

It wasn’t long before I felt I had to demonstrate that Courtney does indeed like to be swung around. (Though it was long enough for the room dynamics to shift some) So I started swinging her back and forth and she was having a grand time. Then all of a sudden some guy (who I never did meet) goes “Okay, that’s making me nervous. I have to leave the room.” At first I thought he was just messing with me, but no, he was dead serious. He left the room. So much for winning friends and influencing people. It’s probably worth noting that I’m extremely careful when it comes to swinging Courtney and in no way is she in any sort of danger. But his reaction made me really think about it to make sure I was still confident about my position on it (which I am, BTW).

A few minutes later I heard a mother ask her kid (6 or 7?) where her shoes were. She did it in a way that was like “you know it’s rude to go around people’s houses without shoes.” Right at that moment I realized that I was standing there barefoot. I had been walking around barefoot for at least the past hour as if I lived there. Like I said, my social skills are somewhat lacking.

But in spite of my lacking social skills, we managed to meet some great people and actually have a fair bit of fun. I just hope I didn’t ruin any future moms group activities for Karen, assuming she gets more invites.

Now on to other matters… Today when I got home from work I could tell that Courtney is so much more confident in her standing. All evening she kept standing up wherever she was. She used to not stand unless there was something at arms-length to hold onto. Now it doesn’t matter where she is. At one point she was distracted by something across the room and she almost took a step toward it. So once again I sit here after saying it months ago, that she’s going to walk any minute! Karen’s Dad gets here on Thursday. It’d be a nice surprise for him (and us) to be here for that big first step.

Standing unaided and nothing close to hang onto.

I’ve always been a night person. I have always had an incredibly hard time waking up in the morning. I don’t know why, it just is. Five years in the military couldn’t change me. I spent those five years terrified I wasn’t going to get up in time for work. Now ten months into having a baby, I wake up before my alarm more often than not.

Now, I’m not saying that I’ve been “cured” of my night person affliction. I guess having the baby and more responsibility has just helped get me up easier. Mind you, I’m still barely functional in the morning. I still don’t feel ready to tackle the world before about noon, and still have my clearest moments late at night.

But for whatever reason, waking up on the weekend is much harder than work days. I guess decades of sleeping weekends away have left a permanent mark on my being. I’m extra zombieish on a Saturday morning.

Yesterday I got up with the baby and took her downstairs to get started on her new found freedom from the teat. Allegedly, it’s easier to wean the last meal if the husband does it (a little suspicious it being the morning one). I didn’t have much success in getting her to drink any formula, so that theory doesn’t seem to be working yet.

Aside from being awake, there’s another downside to my mornings. Now, this is something that Karen is extremely jealous of. I’m one of the most regular people in world. It’s not necessarily a time thing, but a reaction to time thing. It doesn’t matter what time I wake up; shortly after, I’ve gotta go. Sometimes I can fight nature and hold off for quite a while. Yesterday was not one of those times. The power was too much for me to overcome.

Courtney is over there eating her bananas and honeydew. I’m cutting up more honeydew and the first wave of the NOW ATTACK hits. Conveniently (or not), Courtney is over there pushing out a big one – teary eyes and all. It’s not unlike having to pee very badly during a downpour. I felt really bad to rouse Karen from bed to come down and watch the baby while she ate, but I had to go, NOW.

Karen took it all pretty well, but she did point out that when it happens to her she pulls the chair over to the bathroom door. Normally I’d think that’s a pretty good idea, but the only bathroom on the same level as the kitchen has a “nut dragger” toilet. You know, the tiny little round bowl toilets that were clearly designed by a woman.

I like to have room to breath while things happen. I’m still surprised that they even make those tiny things this day and age. I mean, I thought Americans were all about excess and big things. Guys shouldn’t have to tuck things during such times. I’m just saying.

I know, TMI.

It’s been raining on and off for about a week or so, but it really picked up last night. It rained HARD all night long. Thunder. Lightning. The works.

The pond outside my office today was crazy flooded. It’s normally just a calm little cesspool, but today it was alive! The big square thingy in the water is the storm drain. I’ve seen water pouring down it during heavy rains, but never even close to filling in.

Pond at work at a normal level.

Pond at work today after over a foot of rain and counting.

Our pool almost overflowed and our deck drains were all clogged up. It’s a good thing Karen was at home to get things flowing again. And apparently our roof has a small leak. Small enough that we probably never would have known about it under normal circumstances.

Looking forward to better weather soon.